but i have to get this off my chest; why cant people just ask others if they think something about that person? yes i understand im coming back to the stupid drama of me being considered gay when im not; but its a little frustrating that people arent mature enough to just ask the person if theyre gay or not since you are obviously curious; but no instead you start talking behind their back and assume he or she is gay when they really arent; well guess what, I FIND THIS OUT! and i find it a little hurtful when im trying to have a great summer and make new friends even see if their are certain people that might attract me for some summer romance shit which i dont even care about anymore cuz you know what? people are stupid sometimes and i just think its wrong to start spreading it to people youre going to spend the next six weeks with and having to somehow prove im not since they obviously dont come and just fucking ask; its really hurtful and makes me feel like im just supposed to be alone since no one seems to reciprocate the same feelings when i reciprocate them to her; so maybe i should just say fuck it and live alone somewhere on some island, take a fucking wilson volleyball with me, cut myself and make the blood print hand on it so i can just have someone to talk to that i know i will never reciprocate feelings to and maybe THEN i will have peace and happiness:/ the worse thing is there is the very sweet girl from France working with me that i have some form of feeling for and she wont reciprocate only because she thinks im gay; and that if i wasnt gay she probably would:( and even when my good friend simon (also from the UK) tells her after she asks him if im gay that he says definately not at all, she still doesnt believe it; ughhh i cant believe this shit is happening again:(
but on a happy note, aside from that issue this is so far an amazing summer! im going to the city with international kids tomorrow and staying there to get a good time! that girl im talking about is coming and simon is thinking of helping me get through to her that im not gay so heres hoping:/ i am friends with kids from scotland, UK, France, and australia!! anyway i start work in 20 minutes so heres to all my friends having a great rest of the summer!!